my mind need its own blog - pt1
i dont sleep all that well of late - my mind races, thousands of things and i cant keep track - i lay awake at nite (lots) and tonight isnt much different - except i got tired of staring at my eyelids and decided my brain needed its own blog - so here i am, 2 hours before i have to wake up and im still not sleepy enough to sleep - i need some wires coming out of my head attached to a computer that would register my good thoughts and ideas - sexual ideas & thoughts register somewhere else and then i cant sleep for a different reason (and especially on my stomach)
but the thing that kept coming back to me tonight, is emailing - i lost some chat buddies here recently (they claim to be busy, but how long does it take to answer an email) - i like the written word - i use it all the time to convey and question and i try and do it well (well, except for punctuation) - so i like to write and will carefully craft something to send - i write and rewrite til i get something that i think is easy to read and not to difficult to respond to - and sometimes when i get the response back its written with the same clarity and vision i imagine mine to have contained - but wtf am i supposed to do when nothing comes back? did they receive it? did they ignore it? were they so floored with the superbly written sentences that they dont want to belittle its perfectness? so i think about sending a "hey did you get my last email" - but having received enough times the; 1) dont try and guilt me or 2) were not ignoring you (should we get you a tissue?) response, i just wonder - i even turned off outlook today cause i found myself checking it so often with no results it further depressed me - so i dont get answers to things i really want responses to? should i worry about it - NO! - but i do. when my mind races and its 2 oclock in the morning and sleep eludes me, i do think about it - and a thousand other things - if youre lucky, i wont be posting anymore of the thousand "blogs of my mind" -- enough! im tired
but the thing that kept coming back to me tonight, is emailing - i lost some chat buddies here recently (they claim to be busy, but how long does it take to answer an email) - i like the written word - i use it all the time to convey and question and i try and do it well (well, except for punctuation) - so i like to write and will carefully craft something to send - i write and rewrite til i get something that i think is easy to read and not to difficult to respond to - and sometimes when i get the response back its written with the same clarity and vision i imagine mine to have contained - but wtf am i supposed to do when nothing comes back? did they receive it? did they ignore it? were they so floored with the superbly written sentences that they dont want to belittle its perfectness? so i think about sending a "hey did you get my last email" - but having received enough times the; 1) dont try and guilt me or 2) were not ignoring you (should we get you a tissue?) response, i just wonder - i even turned off outlook today cause i found myself checking it so often with no results it further depressed me - so i dont get answers to things i really want responses to? should i worry about it - NO! - but i do. when my mind races and its 2 oclock in the morning and sleep eludes me, i do think about it - and a thousand other things - if youre lucky, i wont be posting anymore of the thousand "blogs of my mind" -- enough! im tired
posted by baddandy at 1:36 AM
5 Comments:
Ick... I had a bad night's sleep yesterday as well. At first it was just not being tired enough. I had all sorts of thing running through my head. Maybe it was excitement about Coldplay. Maybe it was the dull pain in my back. Either way...I hate not sleeping well. But I refrained from getting up and blogging.
-N
I have just the thing you need to help you sleep...
natalia - next time dont refrain- i'll probably be there
puzzy - new york city!!!!!!!! theres plenty of place in houston for some late night shooting, i mean shopping. most 7-11's are open 24 hrs! i know about that addiction tho, but my opposable thumbs oppose video game controls - i suck!!!! hobby? i think i'll try writing
wanting - tell me tell me!!!!!
last time i slept was in 1987. well maybe a few years before that too but i have not slept one peaceful night since june 29th 1987. no shit. no matter what i have done from dope to being hypnotized and not one thing will keep me down more than 90 minutes. and it really sucks cause i am pretty tired now and i would love to get the hell off of this ride. so gotcha with the not sleeping and should you come up with a surefire insomnia killer, ls let me know..you have my email and back at ya, b.a.
run, badandy.. rita's coming... i thought of you and your family when i heard it was headed in the general direction of houston. i wish you safety, a little good luck with the weather, and will be looking forward to your next words left here. i'll be keeping an eye your way...
Post a Comment
<< Home